In life, both fiction and for real, we often do not know the full story until the last chapter.
Yesterday, a funeral service filled with gratitude opend this new week for my wife and me. Not just a memorial service, but also “The Celebration of Life and Service of Witness to the Resurrection.”
What do those last four words mean?
Funerals are brief and often insightful summaries of what made the person unique-not just as an identity, but also for a life lived. The full story completed.
For non-family members, the service provides a brief glimpse of the arc of a person’s life by those who, in most cases, knew them best. When one is not family, we often are only aware of brief moments of familiarity that rarely capture one’s full story.
Gratitude
This service was for a mother of two girls, who divorced in the early 1970’s, raised the family by herself while earning an MBA and pursuing a career. Life was filled with job changes and relocations to make ends meet.
My wife and I only knew her as a grandmother, who sang in the choir, volunteered in the Opportunity Shop, and was a full time caregiver for her grandchild, raised by her own single mother.
Her life was defined in her family’s remarks, as one of unconditional acceptance of others, care and service to the community.
Not Owners, but Stewards
There is a saying among farmers that the land they cultivate is not theirs. They are stewards of the legacy they inherited. They are not owners free to do whatever they want with the property. Rather their ultimate obligation is to manage the land so the legacy continues to benefit future generations.
This is similar to the belief motivating and sustaining many credit union leaders past and present.
But it also portrays one of life’s realities for all.
How one spends their most precious asset, their limited years, becomes their legacy. Family will recall, as they did on Sunday, the experiences that influenced them as children, grandchildren pr as a brother.
In the service bulletin was a note that offered suggestions if someone wanted to make a donation to honor the person’s memory. Chosen by the family, this list is a glimpse pf the person’s priorities in life:
- The Hunger Program of the Presbyterian Church
- The Lupus Foundation of America
- Your local food bank.
This is how the family suggests others support the values the person lived in her life.
This list is for gifts of thanks giving. It is how the family wants their mother ‘s actions and priorities remembered. And passed on.
This Sunday service was not just a celebration of past deeds It was a pivot to how a person’s example will continue to shape the future. Through family and friends. It is why funerals matter. We will all have one.