Your Job Evaluation

Job evaluations must be objective or else they wouldn’t be fair.  And, life is not fair, so where does that leave us?  Ever thought about that?

Some consultant, some robusterian behavioral wizard, some unfathomable, “deep space” PhD, some “afraid-they’re-gonna-sue” compliance officer has stuck the rest of us with this required annual ritual.

Much like Halloween, we all dress up as something we’re not and parade about playing the adult version of “trick or treat.”   We all are aware that the game is rigged, but we do our best to play along and objectively evaluate ourselves and others.  “Facebook evaluations” make more sense – y’know,  “thumbs up/thumbs down”?
Mirror, mirror on the wall… Oh, what fun – right!

“You’re really are… well… just incredible!

What a lie!  But, here’s the most honest – and perhaps the only honest –  evaluation I’ve ever read:

The Honest Job Evaluation

Employee Response:  I feel I get as much work done as anyone else in the department – more in some cases.

Employee Response:  I expect things to be right or not at all.

Employee Response:  I like to plan my work and work my plan.

Employee Response:  I’m always on time unless something happens.

Employee Response:  I get along with everyone. I rarely start it.

Employee Response:  I have plenty of common sense. I don’t try to fix the wrong problem.

Employee Response:  I have been known to have a fit but usually I can handle the pressure.

Employee Response:  I keep my personality in order. I have earned a reputation I deserve.

Employee Response:  I can tell things the way they are.

Employee Response:  My judgment is as good as the next one. I’m always pretty sure of everything.

Employee Response:  I am a very dependable person. I was raised this way.

Employee Response:  I try to set a good example. I’m willing to eat my own cooking.

Employee Response:  I’m not one to be lazy. I know what to do when I see a wrecker with the hood up.